I’ve been going through a rough patch.
I did not all of a sudden get to this dark painful place.
I had a light-bulb moment.
When did it all start? I link it back to Covid and the isolation that we all experienced when schools closed and support groups stopped meeting.
I was feeling cut off from the world. It had a snowball effect.
One thing after another ceased to exist. For me the loss of in person support groups, Fibromyalgia advocacy and awareness events, access to the swim classes, way too much of a sedentary lifestyle made a huge impact on my health. Like so many others, I binged a lot of tv shows from my chair in my living room.
I became a couch potato.
This all was followed a year of masks, sanitizing and staying away from everyone unless absolutely necessary when school started back up in August 2020.
Feeling down in the dumps.
“We are all in the same boat” I kept telling myself.
Masks ended for schools June of 2021 and life resumed. I had gotten used to being at home and not talking to people outside of work hours.
It was simply a bump in the road.
Several family health scares led to additional worry & stress.
When it rains it pours.
My age, changes in medicine and the sedentary lifestyle led to weight gain increasing my low self-esteem and nightly leg pains. Add in the mama worries and till not being active in the Fibro Community that gave me a purpose.
Just the tip of the iceberg.
Self talk kicked in.
“It’s time to change your own tune.“
Off to a good start I rejoined the gym in the Fall to get back to swimming.
Winter in Wisconsin is lasting until the cows come home.
I could feel the up and down barometric pressure and the extreme cold throughout my entire body. I knew I should go swimming. It heals my body, mind and soul. However, each class day I would come up with an excuse (Snowstorm, Ice Storms, Days of negative temperatures).
After each work day I felt ready to drop.
I was drained physically and mentally and my PJ’s were calling.
A vicious cycle began.
I was eating the wrong foods, not moving enough, and had started canceling getting together with my friends.
I found myself going down the rabbit hole.
My Allodynia was getting worse it felt like my nerves were going to jump right out of my body.
I did not expect to be at a crossroads but
Budget cuts at work eliminated my job for next year.
It is was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
The crying. Often when I was just explaining my feelings or situations.
I Can’t Take It Anymore!
Too much to bear.
Your at your Wits’ End.
I knew that I finally hit rock bottom.
I mean I don’t think it is normal to cry an average of 3-5 times a day. (Sarcasm)
What is the “problem” that needs to be fixed first?
Time to take stock of my life.
I started with a Therapist.
You’ve Got Your Work Cut Out For You
Feeling feelings is good (but too much of a good thing is bad).
I went to see my amazing Doctor: I need some help managing my emotions.
I’m a train wreck.
I need help getting back on ˈtrack.
I don’t have to reinvent the wheel. I know what to do.
I need to grab another tool from my fibro toolbox.
Kick the habit.
Get back to healthy eating. Watch my sugars.
Take it one day at a time.
I already know there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
The return of fibromyalgia pain, trigger points, increased fibro fog and cfs/me have reminded me how much I need the support and the reminders that I get from my fibro friends and family.
I can get back to where I was before all of this.
I did not get in remission from my fibromyalgia symptoms by myself, it took my team.
I know that my trigger points will go away after seeing my physical therapist, my fog will decrease from freezing fog to radiation fog, and I will decrease my fibro pain by eating right, balancing my active/rest times and working on my mental health.
I have no choice.
I am a Fibro Warrior Living Life.